How to Start Loving Yourself and Your Life
1. Is This Really Your Life?
This is your life, and the reality is life is short! 20 becomes 30, becomes 40 becomes…where did the time go? So rather than constantly comparing yourself to your friends, your neighbors, even your frenemies, start living YOUR life! Create a life that YOU love! How? Well, the best place to start is by asking yourSELF! There is a part of yourself that is so wise, so insightful. There is a part of YOU that really knows everything that you really want to know. Call it your gut, your heart, call it whatever you like, but know that it is there!
So close your eyes, and take a few deep breathes and ask:
- What do I want right now?
- What would feeeeel so good right now?
- What do I really want my life to look like?
- What would make me just burst with pride and excitement if I could achieve it?
- How do I define a successful life?
The point is take the time to figure out what you really want out of life. What would feel like a successful life for you, a life you would love? Clarity is the goal here. Comparing yourself to others is also a ticket to pissedoffville and unsatisfiedburg! And who want to live there, yuk! Complaining about what you DON’T want is not going to make it happen, that’s just going to give you more things to complain about. Take a few moments and get clear. NOW! No, seriously, now! Did you do it? Ok, great:)
2. Be Deliciously Selfish!
As many of my clients know, I am a huge fan of selfishness. Selfish has a really bad reputation. I’m not talking about the “I don’t care about anyone else, I’m a diva” kind of selfish. Save that for the “Real housewives of New York” show. I’m talking about putting yourself, your needs and your self-care on TOP of your priority list! Not at the bottom. If your energy level is always depleted, it’s a sign! Your body and subconcious are saying, hey dude! You need a time out!
Take at least 15 minutes per day to do something just for YOU! Not for your kids, your husband, your boss, your best friend. FOR YOU! Essentially what you are doing is filling up your cup, so that then you can freely give to others. You can’t give what you don’t have! So take care of yourself so that you can be waaay more generous with others!
3. Kick BOB to the Curb!
**My appologies to those named Bob***
One of the biggest energy drains and things that stop us from enjoying our life is BOB. Who’s BOB? BOB is what I call that negative voice that tells you all the reasons you can’t. All the reasons why you suck. All the reasons why your life is crappy and will always be crappy…and on and on.
Guess what! BOB isn’t real!
BOB is just a thought!
So here is something you can do super fast and easy.
Imagine your beautiful amazing self. Now picture BOB (or whatever name feels good for you) BOB is unhappy, overweight, ugly, and he wants YOU to feel crappy so he has company. For some reason I always picture BOB as having an ugly green sweater and being sweaty, reeking of cigar smoke and hairy..but that’s just me!
When BOB starts talking, saying “you can’t, you suck, you’ll never, you shouldn’t”. Ask yourself, “Is this true?” When you take a moment to breathe you will see, ohhhhh! That wasn’t me it was just BOB trying to get me to play with him. Know that you have a choice to entertain those negative thoughts, or NOT. You can tell BOB to beat it, and I promise when you start to see that BOB isn’t real, life will get easier, you’ll have more energy and just a general sense of well being.
4. Find the Fun!
Now that you have an idea of what success means to you, you have been more deliciously selfish, you no longer let BOB run your life, it’s time to have FUN!!
Make all of this a game! How can I find a way to make today fun? How can I find a way to make my job fun? How can I find a way to make tackling my to-do list fun?
Just PLAY! Maybe you give yourself a reward! Maybe you invite a friend to join you on a project. Maybe you listen to some of your favorite music while doing something you don’t particularly love to do so much, like, I don’t know, cleaning the litter box. Play the game of: How can I make this fun?
So Now What??
The point is to go through life having one enjoyable experience after another. It’s really only hard if we decide to make it hard. Life will have it’s share of bumps in the road, that is certain, but HOW you react and having some tools to handle those bumps will help you create and start loving yourself and your life!